Danger Will Robinson

Branwen is trying to kill me too, I think. Her method is leaning more toward "heart attack" rather than "sleep deprivation" Iyana was more of a never sleep kinda girl, but if you told her no about something she more or less did as she was asked. Until she turned three. Three year olds are always trying to kill you somehow- probably heart attack again, but only because of the *blood pressure spikes. Anyway, Branwen is barely mobile and she is already trying to scoot over to put stupid shit in her mouth. Like the carseat. Or simply attempting to stand on her head out of the bumbo seat to get to a toy that she dropped. Or bonking her head when she rolls over, then screaming about it. My ultimate favorite thing that she does is to go from mostly silently watching things around her to BIRD NOISES! REALLY FREAKING LOUD! Serously, she sounds like a crow.

*Random: I don't have high blood pressure, I have low blood pressure. Every time I go to the doctor, they think that I am dead or dying.

Does this mean that I am a vampire? Grrr. No low men in yellow coats here.

Why exactly do we have to capitalize the H and the B in Happy Birthday?

My mother in law's birthday is next Tuesday or Thursday or something.

Tonight tonight

I just found out something that boggles my mind. To paraphrase Forest Gump, that is all I am going to say about THAT.

I forget all the time where I left off with this blog.

New baby girl is thriving, her little thighs are getting chubby and she can now move around on her quilt with impunity. I am not ready to have a mobile child yet, but yeah, whether I want for it to happen or not, she is mobile. I think that she may be our sleeper, but she may also be our danger ranger. She already likes to pull stuff over on top of herself.

Every morning, we get up and she gets a diaper change. I get myself a cup of coffee and then I put her down on her blanket. She plays contentedly for an hour while I drink coffee and get breakfast ready for the Original Spoiled Child. Big one is notoriously bad at mornings. Kid is my mini me.

I think that maybe I need to give the kids pseudonyms. The now three year old, soon to be FOUR year old will now be dubbed Iyana and the little one, now 5 months will be.....Branwen. Names are subject to change if I feel like it, and if their personalities change to make something better more appropriate. Ha. I just gave ya a disclaimer. And the only reason I give them pseudonyms is because I get tired of posting "the little one" or "the big one" or "spoiled child" etc. Monikers are better.

Bullet points of DOOM!

• we have another kid now. Another girl, born at the end of May.
• Spoiled Child is three and a half and freaking awesome
• still rocking in the southland
• I have a van, it is also supremely awesome- It is named Rufus McIntosh, but I call it Mac.
• That's all I can think of now. I need to get busy.
  

I think I'm paranoid...

Seriously, I always think the worst of people.

Even if they have done nothing to me, I worry over their tone, their hand gestures, their judgement. I wish that I could get over it, but I always feel like people are talking about me or out to get me. I hate to have women at my house because I know that they notice every speck of dirt and every toy out of place, that the windows aren't washed and there is a dish in my sink. Paranoid.

Catching up

So this whole thing has descended (ascended?) into updates about my kidlet. That's okay I guess, but I still need to update it more.

Not since November, but since November we have had:
Thanksgiving
Christmas
New Years
Kid's birthday.

That's a lot of stuff to cram into two months. Feels crazy now.

We did Thanksgiving dinner at Jasin's house, then all of the Christmas crazy at our house, my parent's, then my grandparents and then after 10, we went to his parent's house to see his folks and his grandparents. It's a lot of running.

Little bit celebrated her second on the tenth of this month. We had her party from 2-4, and most of that time was spent opening gifts, because every toy she'd open, she wanted to play with RIGHT NOW. "open it" etc.

Recently it has been open season on old friends calling me up to see how things are. First the only guy to make it from art school, then a high school friend that had lived more of life at 16 than I had at 20, then "cuz" a friend from grade school that I adopted as my cousin, and vice versa. I talk to her every day, these days. Fun stuff.

The little one has some new ones, but my current favorite is the story of how our cat "Newnew" killed the mouse. Said mouse was on our porch one morning, and I didn't manage to pick it up before she saw it. Little bit walked outside and saw the mouse, and told me "Newnew killed Mickey Mouse" She's been repeating it for days now and though I have corrected her, told her that it wasn't Mickey Mouse, I die laughing inside every time I hear it.

Mickey is dead, long live the Mouse King.

It's been a month, huh? My bad.

The little one is growing right up and I am REALLY bad at documenting said growing up with any kind of constancy.

List of things that she is currently obsessed with

• Loves My Little Pony
• The little mermaid (still)
• Sleeping Beauty (to Jasin's chagrin)
• coloring
• playing outside
• collecting rocks
• cottage cheese
• peaches
• brushing hair- her own, mine, Jasin's, her baby's, the cats
• The Pumpkin King

List of things she currently dislikes

• Shoes/ socks. Is amused by playing with them, but not by wearing them.
• washing her hair.
• getting a diaper change.
• taking naps
• washing her face
• sweet peas
• Jasin's game
• Any kind of goodbye now brings tears
• leaving Me-maw's house ( not a chosen name, Me-maw wanted to be grandma, but Little bit changed her name)

All things that Little miss doesn't like are met with criticism and scorn, full on hissy fits and outright refusal to do whatever. Of course, it doesn't work out for her like she wants most of the time... but she tries:)

Some days I feel like we are raising this quirky genius- I can brag, it is my blog. She plays with trucks and babies with equal time spent on each... she already asks for and loves things that are over her head and I can just SEE the little gears working in her head... she tries out new sentences and phrases like she is tasting them, trying to find their meaning. She puts her crayons back in the box all facing the same direction and got angry at me for putting the wrong tops on her markers. I don't care which top goes on which marker, so long as they are put up...she wanted them to match. Funny girl.

I now have Poison Control bookmarked.

So yeah, things with the Spoiled Child have been.... going. For someone who's birthday isn't until January, she sure is TWO right now. Hey lovely pediatrician, remember when you said that two was going to be fun because she was doing most of her tantruming early? I would like for you to meet my daughter. Oh, you've met her before? Well, maybe she is just way more hardcore than most kids, because DAMN, the tantruming just keeps right on going, like the freaking energizer bunny(tm).

So, about poison control. See, I am this lazy kind of housekeeper and baby watcher. My house isn't filthy by any means, but clutter and things going back where they belong? Not good at that.

Yesterday afternoon I changed a diaper and she had a rash, I put the cream on and chucked the wet diaper. Left the cream on the couch. She got up on the couch last night and ate the cream. SHE ATE A&D OINTMENT. I read the label and it said to call poison control. I look up the number and call- they PUT ME ON HOLD! Only for like,30 seconds, but I was still kinda freaking out.... A&D ointment will give you diarrhea if you eat it, that's all. Still scary, though.

Who eats butt cream, really? A&D kinda stinks. Her breath was really funky.

(Oh, and Jasin? Totally losing his shit the entire time I was on the phone. LOL)

BTW, spell check says that 'tantrumming' isn't a word. 'Isn't' isn't either. Neither is Jasin or LOL. Maybe I AM ignorant I dunno.